Thursday, 5 January 2017

My Month In Film December

There goes another year! It's January which means I'm here to give you my December choices of the most memorable film and television I've seen. For better or worse! Last month was a hard one with the passing of Carrie Fisher and just the general chaos of Christmas. It also signified the anniversary of a very tough year for me personally and I am glad to see the back of it. I still managed to get in a few notable hours in front of the boob tube. 


 
Fear The Walking Dead
I've become one of those people who just can't get enough of The Walking Dead. So much so that I've even started watched old series as I wait for new episodes. Yes I hate myself, don't worry. Obviously this meant that I needed to watch Fear The Walking Dead; a sort of parallel time prequel series. We see the first appearances of the virus that brought about the end of the world and how the characters deal with it. It's all stuff that has been talked about in main series but never shown. 
It's decent filler.

 
The Tick
The Tick was an obsurd 90s cartoon based on an absurd 80s comic. It was panto in superhero form and like most cartoons of it's type it relied on slapstick comedy and breaking the fourth wall. I loved it! 
Like most of our childhood favourites it is now being rebooted into a live action series, thanks Amazon, and according to the producers it's going to take place in a darker world than that of the cartoon. 
UGH. 
I am so bored of everything needing to be darker and gloomier these days! That being said there were some elements that I liked. They kept the super confident Tick monologue, the even kept some of the original dialogue and it felt wonderfully familiar because of it but the slapstick was gone and so far the fourth wall remains in tact. I'm unconvinced but this was only a pilot. I'll watch the series, if I haven't cancelled Amazon Prime by then. 

I wonder what the next live action reboot will be? My vote is Bananaman! 

 
The Accountant
The father of an Autistic child chooses to, rather than accept the free legit medical care offered to him, take his son to Jakarta and train him in martial arts to try and overcome the very real affliction. This son grows up to be an accountant... but like a real bad ass accountant because it's Ben Affleck. Because bad mental health is for pussies, I guess. 
We're told at the start of the movie that The Accountant works with the worst of the worst criminals and kingpins but sure enough don't we learn that not all is as it seems. 
In fact all the bad guys seem to be criminals with a heart. And the good guys are dicks. And life is grey. And hard-ass dads suck but at least they give you kick ass life skills and make you rich AF with a really obvious plot twist. 
"But you're an accountant" yeah but you're not really are you, Ben? You tricky mofo. 
Ps this is probably my favourite Jon Bernthal performance ever. If he does The Punisher as well as he does this then I might actually get excited about that show! 

 
Hairspray Live
Oh look. Another unnecessary remake. I applaud the motive behind these televised Live Musical Specials as they seek to demonstrate the talent that goes in to Musical Theatre but unfortunately, due to major casting errors and short pre-production times, none of them have been good enough to justify them. The Rocky Horror Picture Show Live was an abomination in comparison to the original film which has been a favourite of mine since I was a child. I turned off as they began to murder sweet transvetite. 
Hairspray Live was much better than Rocky Horror but it still left me wanting for the DVD. I never in my days thought I would miss Amanda Bynes' performance and yet I spent the whole show thinking "What even is the point of Ariana Grande?" She's awful!
Again, this type of performance is something that has merit but they really need to rethink their production process. Stop casting crappy pop starlets and stick with the theatre professionals who can really give the show what it needs. 

 
Burning Love
Think of the worst aspects of those American reality love finding shows (The Batchelor for instance) and have a bunch of comedic actors take the piss and absolutely tear them apart. You will have Burning Love. I think this may have been a web series at one point because each episode is only 15-20 minutes long but thankfully Netflix has batched each season in to one super long feature. Keep an afternoon free if you're sitting down to watch these because you won't be able to switch off!

So there you have it. Not all glowing reviews but I'm trying to put more of my not-so-happy thoughts in to these to give you an idea of my likes and dislikes. Notable mentions this month go to Masters Of Sex which I absolutely love and have been catching up on a few series after falling behind. I also saw Passengers  this month and I really wanted to talk about it in this post but I really think I'll need more than the 50-100 words blurbs I'm giving here. Which leads me to my question, dear reader, would you prefer these posts to stay in a monthly run down format or would you like to see more detailed reviews of selected films and shows? It's something I've been toying with but would inevitably focus on new releases. Feedback and other suggestions would be greatly appreciated!

Thursday, 29 December 2016

Why do I relate to Darth Vader's Daughter so much? (And a few thoughts on Rogue One)


 
As a child with a tracheostomy (and even as an adult) I would walk in to a room full of strangers and there would always be that one funny fucker who would comment on my very loud breathing. "Sounds like Darth Vader just walked in" they'd say; or if they were really trying to bully me they'd call me Darth Vader's daughter. My reply was always "that makes me Princess Leia [asshole] think it through". I may have added the asshole bit… I was eight after all. But it helped me get through those hurtful comments and it still does because those Vader comments still happen twenty plus years later. People are assholes but fuck you because I'm a princess and a General and one with the force. *imagines middle finger emoji right here*

"Member Star Wars?!" 

 

Rogue One was sold as a stand alone movie within the Star Wars universe. If you've never seen a Star Wars movie or didn't particularly like the previous trilogies this was supposed to be the one for you. I can't judge it in that aspect because with all the subtle nods to the old films (throwaway references in dialogue, old unused footage cut in, surprise cameos and even dead actors brought back to life with CGI) this film was pure nostalgia for me. It's a story we know well, the first story most of us learnt about this world in the opening scroll of A New Hope and so there is sense of "finally" when watching and learning exactly how this story panned out. 
There is a lot of exposition in the opening of the film. A lot. Basically the first two acts are exposition but the final act is where you begin to fall in love with the characters and feel invested in their wellbeing. Some would say this was too late and mark the film down but for me it made the inevitable ending all the more emotional. 
Jyn is an excellent main character and another welcome female voice in a very male dominated universe. She's no Princess Leia but she's much less annoying than Rei. I'm sad that we won't see more of her in the universe. 
I've now seen Rogue One four times since release, no doubt I'll see it dozens more times in the future because as an unashamed fan who has grown up with this galaxy Rogue One slots perfectly in to the canon. Much better than episodes one to three did! 

 

Since writing these thoughts on Rogue One my beloved Carrie Fisher has died. I have no words to describe how fucking shit it is to lose the first strong female icon that movies ever gave me (and millions of others). I've chosen to post it ahead of my normal film and tv run down because it just didn't feel right throwing this personal stuff in with the rest. 

I was already on the middle of a binge of all of the Star Wars series (hello Sky Movies Star Wars on loop) but now I'm going full steam head and adding the rest of her movies because she was an icon and we will miss her dearly. 

 

Wednesday, 21 December 2016

That was the year that was: 2016... wtf happened?

A year ago today I walked in to my office and almost immediately was told to go home. From there I went straight to my GP and whilst waiting to get blood tests I passed out and my mum had to be summoned from work. I was then sent to A&E and I didn't leave the hospital until Christmas Eve. I was readmitted a week later on New Years Day (by ambulance) and then twice more over the early months of 2016. I have had dozens of tests, scans and examinations, been probed in places a person should never be probed and spent most of the year in pain and highly medicated. This wasn't the start of my health problems and it won't be the end but that day, that moment, it was my breaking point.

 

It's been a long, exhausting, traumatic year; for everyone. 2016 sucked. 

2016 feels like the year where the world has aged. It's lost it's shine. It's all gone to shit. Everyone is dying, politics in all corners of the globe is in tatters, Nazis have rebranded. THEY LET NAZIS REBRAND. What the actual fuck happened?!

There are going to be a lot of "holy crap" round ups of 2016 over the next few weeks. Some will yearn for a brighter future, some will despair at how bleak it looks like it's actually going to be; others will probably start taking bets of celebrities whose days are numbered. 

My point is that my personal breaking point was December 21st 2015, it's been a long slow road since then but it's getting better and I've managed to carve out some really wonderful moments with some really wonderful people throughout the year. Maybe, just maybe, 2016 is the worlds breaking point and we can begin the healing and hope for a few brighter days ahead. 

2017 is probably going to be a shitstorm but at least we're prepared. 

That's half the battle. 

taken during my second stay in majors

 

 

 

 

 




 

 

 

 

 

 


 

 

 




 


 

 

 

 

 





 

 







 

 

 

 

 

 



When you look at it like this... it's not been a bad year has it?